Being a working parent can be extremely draining, with many people experiencing burnout, stress and anxiety. It’s so important that you are protecting your mental health, as it can be a lot to juggle and often your own needs naturally take a back seat. So, we’re here with 5 actionable ways that you can protect your mental health as a working super mum, whilst still being realistic about how demanding it can be as a working parent.
Embrace Imperfection
We’re going to start things off with a reminder that you should be embracing imperfection. No parent is perfect and no family is perfect, despite what it might seem like on social media or when you’re chatting to people, so you need to remember that as long as you’re doing your best, it’s normal to make mistakes. In the moment when you’re tired and your little one is crying, it can make the smallest things feel really overwhelming, like forgetting to take their snack to nursery or spilling something at breakfast when you’re rushing to get out of the house. Particularly when you live in an apartment, this can make things increasingly difficult when you feel like you’re on top of yourself. Whilst it’s easier said than done, try to remind yourself that no one is perfect, and focus on your strengths rather than obsessing over small mishaps that won’t matter in a weeks, months or years time.
Set Boundaries
Next, it’s important that you set boundaries as a working mum to help you keep work and home life separate as much as possible. There are a few things you can do in order to make this a success:
- Set working hours – sometimes things come up at work where we need to put extra hours in, and that’s normal, however it’s so key that you have boundaries in place that you follow most of the time and very rarely break, unless there is an absolutely urgent emergency. So, 6pm until 8:30am could be your “home” hours where there is no mention of work, then whilst you’re at work, you put all of your focus into that. You should also communicate to your employer that working weekends isn’t possible for you as a result of your family commitments.
- Physical boundaries – if you work from home at all, make sure that you have a clear working space that you can leave at the end of the day. Working on a laptop on your sofa or dining room table can cause a merge between working and home life, so if you do need to do this, make sure you have a clear end of the day when things get packed away and you can forget about work.
- Time management – ensure that you are able to meet deadlines within your working hours, and if too much is being expected of you, then you should communicate this to your management. This is especially the case if what you’re being expected to do exceeds your job role.
Prioritise Your Wellbeing
As a working parent, your well being likely gets pushed to the back of your priority list. However, when you make a real effort to put yourself first, even just for a small section of the day, you’ll be a better parent and a better employee as a result. So, think about your daily routine and pick out sections of time that you could have to yourself. This might be your lunch hour or an hour or two when the kids are in bed. Try to make this time non-negotiable and you’ll reap the benefits. There are a few different sections of wellbeing that you should be focusing on, however really it’s all about doing things that are just for you and refilling your batteries:
- Physical: spend some time moving your body to feel good, whether it’s going for a walk and listening to a podcast, doing a 15 minute yoga class, a 30 minute spin class on your lunch break or having a stretch before bed. Taking the time to cook yourself a delicious and nutritious meal would also help to benefit your physical wellbeing.
- Social: spending time with people who mean the most to you, whether it’s a FaceTime call, meeting up for a coffee with someone for lunch or putting on your favourite little black dresses and going out for dinner with a friend.
- Emotional: managing stress is closely related to looking after yourself emotionally, so things like getting an early night, meditating, making some homemade gifts, reading your favourite book or taking a nice long bath and listening to your favourite album.
Build A Support Network
Another important thing you should do to protect your mental health as a working mum is to build a support network. This might be joining or setting up a support group at work to share tips and just be there for eachother, joining parenting groups, joining a sports team that trains once a week to meet new people, or connecting with like minded people on social media. Having a combination of people who you connect with about parenting and others who you connect with just for yourself is also important, because you’re more than a parent and often when you forget that, that’s when your wellbeing slips. Even if this is once a week where you’re going out and meeting people who aren’t in your immediate circle, either to do with parenting or for you to go and socialise with people not in a parenting environment, it can make a world of difference to how you feel. It’s worth putting yourself out there as it can be transformative, no matter the activity that you choose.
Seek Professional Help If Needed
Last but not least, it’s really important that you seek professional help if everything gets too much. There is no shame whatsoever in speaking to someone to help you process everything and provide coping mechanisms that are specific to you. Whilst friends can provide great advice and support, sometimes you do need something more to help you through difficult times. Being a parent is extremely difficult, let alone when you’re also juggling it with work, so if you need to speak to someone, make sure you do. It can make a huge difference.
Final Thoughts
To protect your mental health as a working mum, you need to make sure that you don’t put yourself last when it comes to your priority list. Life will be busy, that’s a given, however it’s so important that you focus on not being hard on yourself, prioritising your wellbeing, setting clear boundaries, building a support network and knowing when to seek professional help.