The Prater—and Vienna even—would be unthinkable without the Schweizerhaus. This monstrously huge beer garden with a 1800-person seating capacity exist solely to induce cardiac arrest among the city’s population—pope to prole, so to speak—by doling out Stelze (pork knuckles) by the ton. Waiters sprint through the garden lugging trays of around ten one-liter beer mugs with one hand (hello, carpal tunnel syndrome!).

A carnival atmosphere always prevails. Celebrations seem non-stop: bachelor parties, school reunions and baptismal fetes are awash in seas of Budvar. Order the potato fritters with your Stelze served with mustard and fresh horseradish. For those with more delicate intestinal constitutions, a plate of Bierradies, radish thinly sliced in a spiral form, gives the right spicy bite to offset the eventual mustiness of beer.

Expect hopelessly long queues for the women’s toilettes. Girls, come to the Schweizerhaus only if you’ve done your Kegels.